Dutch Wedding Anniversaries

My Dutch husband and I were married twelve years this year, which prompted many family members and friends to make noises about a party in six months’ time. Turns out that your copper or 12.5 years’ wedding anniversary is a big deal here and is often celebrated with a party for family and friends. I suspect we shall quietly accidentally on purpose forget the day….

Coincidentally we were invited to a silver wedding anniversary party, traditional Dutch style a couple of months ago. This I had to see!

Having read Stephanie’s recent article on hosting a Dutch Circle Party (DCP), I realised there is not a big difference.

The Gift

As often the case on Dutch invitations, the couple had indicated their gift of choice by adding a little envelope icon to the invitation. It was interesting to see that the amount of the gift was determined by: whether the invitees were going to drink alcohol, whether a meal was going to be served and how well-off the couple were. After negotiations between several invitees a compromise amount was agreed on. It was explained to me, that traditionally you don’t bring a gift to a wedding or anniversary party, but help the couple pay for the party so they are not out of pocket entertaining their friends. They used to hang a bucket up by the entrance for people to deposit their contribution.

Arriving on time

No arriving fashionably late or dropping in at some time that suits you (as you may with a DCP). You should arrive within half an hour of the starting time and line up to shake hands with the happy couple. Don’t forget the 3 kisses and the “Gefeliciteerd!”

Finding a seat

Table and chairs are arranged in a circle (yup, there it is again!) around the dance floor. Usually once you sit down, that is your seat and you stay glued to it, so choose wisely. However, eventually people did start moving around to talk to each other and catch up on news and gossip.

Cake

One cup of tea or coffee and one slice of cake or a “gebakje” is then served.

Music and Dancing

We were lucky enough to have a live band, that although loud was very good. Once the reception line had cleared and coffee and cake were consumed, it was time for dancing, with the happy couple starting off going round the circle doing the quickstep and then others joining in. Until recently learning to ball-room dance (but in particular the quickstep) for teenagers was almost as ubiquitous as obtaining the swimming diplomas is for primary school children.

Drink and Nibbles

As at most of Dutch parties there was a free bar, in this case with eager wait-staff that kept the drinks coming and several rounds of trays with bitterballen, cheese, sausage etc.

Chair Dance

Once the party had really got going, the bride and groom each seated themselves on a chair each and were lifted into the air whilst the crowd sang: “Lang zullen ze leven” and “Zij leven hoog”. (“They live high.”) (Listen to the song on Youtube, courtesy of Roden Boys Choir, https://goo.gl/A2XImB). At the end of the songs the chairs were brought together to enable the couple to kiss in mid-air to much hilarity and applause.

More Dancing and Drinking

The party then really got going with more people getting up to dance (more disco/freestyle than ballroom) and more drink flowing.

The End

How do you know when the party is over? The lights come on, and coffee is served with a roll (ham or cheese). No need for subtle hints, everybody was clear on what to do. Lots of 3 kisses and goodbyes and homeward bound we were!

Photos courtesy of Jolanda Remmelink
Music by Roden Jongenskoor/Roden Boys Choir