Interview with an Expat

by Susan Tredenick

Whether living temporarily or permanently overseas the daily challenges can be similar for everyone. Over the coming months I will chat with expats all over Europe about how they found themselves living in Europe and, most importantly, tips to help any newcomer survive.

Helena has lived abroad in Europe for over 20 years. Leaving Australia in 1994 to make the long trek to Europe, she is certainly well qualified to give us some tips on how to make the transition a little smoother. Mother of three and wife, to an often-absent travelling husband, I caught up with Helena to chat about how she found herself in this situation and how life has panned out over the past 20 years:

How long have you lived overseas?

I have lived overseas now for 21 years. Holland was my first country and I arrived in 1994. I lived in Amsterdam for 4 years and following on from that, France for 9 months and then to Belgium in 1999 where I have been for the last 16 years.

What was your initial reason for coming to Europe?

My only reason for uprooting my life in Australia and moving overseas was to come with my Belgium boyfriend. I love living overseas and experiencing the life that Europe has to offer.

Can you tell us a bit about your life in Europe?

I came to Europe as you know for a man and during our 21 years here we have been married and will be celebrating 18 years in April. I enjoyed our time during our first four years in Amsterdam as it is such a diverse city and we met a lot of interesting wonderful people. One important social connection for us was joining an English speaking expat group where we met other couples, of varying nationalities, that were experiencing similar circumstances as us.

To our wonderful joy in 2001 our first daughter was born, followed in 2002 by our son and in 2003 another daughter. I have had part-time jobs over the years, but this was never a priority for me as I always intended to be a “stay-at-home” mother. Learning the language was also very important and I am happy to say that I can now speak fluent French and Dutch (Flemish).

What are some of your challenges?

I think that the language barrier is one of the hardest challenges, as well as just the finer differences between cultures. You can make a lot of friends but they don’t always have a similar life plan; New Zealanders and Australians are people who will travel and experience a world at the age of 18 where I find here it is more geared towards, going directly to study, getting married and settling down. Conversation can also be a challenge and I find that it is sometimes very limited as often our thoughts and life style patterns are very different.

For me also the weather is difficult, coming from a country that is known for its sunshine and beautiful weather it can become depressing after months and months of dark days and rain and snow.

What tips would you give to a newcomer to help them settle earlier?

If you are in the situation of working, try to mix socially with your work colleagues on a Friday evening if the chance arises. For mothers of young children, stand at the school gate and start to mingle with the other mothers and asking children to come over and play often helps break barriers. Birthday parties are also a good way to invite children and their parents over.

Learning the language of course is very important and trying to continue to speak the language even when someone tries to talk to you in English. This often happens when people can hear your English accent behind the Dutch.

Try and join a group that will enable you to mix with other English-speaking (or your own language) people as they will appreciate your humour and I found not having to repeat myself continuously made me feel a little more human.

Last words?

Just try to take a positive frame of mind and be willing to accept and try new things. Life is good but also has its moments and I think whether you live in your own country or a foreign country you have the same daily challenges.